Through much pain, heartache, drama, contemplating thoughts, doubts of my self-image, and depression, I was able to overcome this with the help from a lot of people. But, it wasn't easy. This time in my life was probably the actual first time I ever realized, life is hard. I kept thinking over and over to myself, life hands you lemons, but how do you make lemonade after something so sour and bitter like a divorce? I didn't know how to add the "sugar" to my lemonade until I went on a LDS mission.
Being on a mission was another glimpse for me that life was hard. A mission is hard. I would get frustrated when people didn't listen to the truth I was trying to share with them. I would get sad when someone didn't want us to come over and teach them anymore. I would get angry when my companion and I helped someone stop smoking for a week then started right back up again. All of the sudden, the burden, I was making myself carry was too much to bear. I was tired of feeling frustrated about the people I worked with while on the mission. I was tired of still feeling alone from my divorce. Again, I asked myself frequently, how do I make lemonade out of all these lemons?
The answer was simple. I finally gave my heart to the Savior. That is the sugar. To just stop worrying about things and trust in God. Once I did that, I felt truly happy and relieved. Derek and I are approaching our first anniversary in July. Marriage is the best, though we have gone through our ups and downs already. But, what I've learned from my past to apply to this marriage, add 1 cup of sugar everyday and it will make the sourness go away.
This doesn't mean that everyday in our marriage is bad, but every once in awhile when we do face a little trial, I have to do my part to add a bigger part of Christ into my life. This helps me get through anything. I do that by, reading my scriptures, saying my prayers, going to church, paying tithing, etc. What helps even more, is making them a priority in our marriage.
I'm so grateful that I have learned to make lemonade out of the most sour situations in my life. I'm glad that my husband also knows how to do this. When this principle is applied, you feel a strong feeling of hope for the future. While I was on my mission, I felt this hope. I didn't know it would come with getting married again and preparing for our first born son. But, I knew that God had a plan for me. For everyone, adding that 1 cup of sugar can add hope to your life too-whatever that is, only God knows, but it is wonderful.
Sometimes I slack a little bit and just drink the sour/bitter lemon juice. I get frustrated with living in a small apartment, being broke, and looking ahead at all the schooling my husband will have left in Grad School one day. But, then I remember my Savior and feel hope for our family. I'm not sure where we will go to continue his education, I'm not sure where we will live one day, but I know that God has a plan for Derek and me. It's all because I add in that 1 cup of sugar to my life everyday. We also do those things as a couple. (Shout out to my awesome husband! I love you!)
So, go make lemonade out of the lemons in your life with the sugar we all have access to. And feel hope for the future.
