Liberating Name Change...

I have often thought to myself before I tied the knot, what will I do with my last name when I get married?  Will I change it and take my husbands last name?  Will I drop my middle name and move my last name to my "maiden name"?  Will I not take my husbands last name?

I started writing down the options to see what I liked better:

Michelle Marie Monson

Michelle Marie Nielsen

Michelle Monson Nielsen

Michelle Marie Monson-Nielsen

I liked them all.  I couldn't change my name based upon what it sounded like.  This was a huge dilemma.  My middle name of Marie is a namesake from my mother.  My last name of Monson is something that I gain power from-I've been through a lot as Michelle Monson.  How could I give those two important names up?  Though, I wanted to take my husbands name, I still wanted MY NAME so I could be me.  I wanted MY NAME so I could still be an individual.  I wanted MY NAME so I could still have that little part of me, without giving my whole self to my husband.

I don't feel that I'm a feminist, I don't have anything against feminism, but I do feel that there is something liberating in a name.  As a female, I didn't want give up my whole name for my husband's sake.  I didn't want myself to feel like that I was giving up my identity.  (Note: my husband doesn't make feel that way, I just didn't want to ever feel that way).  I didn't want my last name of Monson to go because with that last name, I graduated high school, I overcame an abusive ex-husband, I overcame a divorce, I served a mission for the LDS church, I learned how to do the monkey bars, I went through 2 spinal fusions, and much more.  A last name is a powerful thing.  We look at past USA Presidents, and though his name is Abraham Lincoln, he gets referred to as Lincoln.

I came to the conclusion that I will always have my mother's name; to my parents, I will always be known as Michelle Marie.  I can always keep the family name of Marie when I have a little girl of my own.  Though, most people through my life have referred to me as Michelle Monson, not Michelle Marie.  Therefore, I made a much contemplated decision and have dropped my middle name to become Michelle Monson Nielsen.